The week that was

Its been a long one and still a day to go,even though i was hoping to take tomorrow off.I cant say i have worked very hard,even though its been more running around then i have done in a while and more of the same tomorrow and prob next week too.

I dont mind,have to do what i have to do and my fault really i always do this,wait for the last week or so and then have to do everything at the same time again i dont mind i like it in a strange way.

This week has sucked on more then one level,the running around,things being delayed again and again,and its been a mental drain.Options and choices,plans,dreams,work,its been a mess and all together.Funny how things just pile up or just seem to happen all at once,and the whole of last week i was sitting around with nothing to do.

I havent felt so fecked in the head in a long time,i have never been one to second guess myself,i have always done what i wanted to do without worrying about what might or will happen.Not that i would go into something blind but id do my homework and go for it 99 times out of a 100.Twice this week i didnt go for it,but i have always been lucky and things worked out in my favour (ended up doing it on somones advice)But the point is i should have been the one to say yes,then end up saying no on both ocations.

I have no patience,i flare up very easily and that doesnt help,though i have been trying to behave but at time i just cant and well what happens next is not at all nice.And as i have had these things running through my head this weeks been worse and i have lost it on more then one ocation.

Something else this week,i havent smoked for a good few months now,but have been wanting to for the last week or so,why no idea.It cant be nicotine and all that i mean should be out of my system and i havent felt like smoking or that i need to other then the first few weeks or the first month that i quit,So why now all of a sudden?

I am just down,never felt this low for some time,after a long time i am not sure and i hate that,i have always been the one to be sure and have always known what i wanted to do in life and wanted out of life,and been lucky enough to have it all.I am just not me.

I have been nice to the family though,all ha ha and all smiles so they are happy,as it is they have 10 things on thier mind and dont need me sulking and being all down.

Weekend is here,a new game in hand for my ps3,Amir Khan fight so yay!

Weddings (and my own)

Are a pain,for those who are getting married,their families and friends and for those who have to attend them,specially for people like me who do not want to attend any,but are forced to.

I have to attend one today,or would have attend one,given when i am able to finish this,i am hoping that it wont be too bad but then that’s asking too much.To make things even worse,its on a Sunday,my day of sleep and rest and i have to say the time is a bit odd too,8 pm? i mean am i still in Karachi?

Anyways  i have my own to look forward to,in a year or so and the engagement next month,so yeah ill be moaning and crying even more then,not that i dont want to get married,i love the girl,but i just wish that she was willing to elope with me and we wouldnt have to go through all the nonsense.

I even offered her a 5 series if she was willing to run away but she turned me down,i am not sure but i think i even offered a 7 series and that didnt work either,she says i just have to act as my best for 4 hours or so in front of a 100 odd people (i dont like them all) and then put in a repeat performance in a year.Easy for her to say!

As my cousin said “what a difficult woman you’re marrying,won’t even consider other options,i mean seriously, what girl wants to get married with her parents and family and friends around her?

But what does she know,she is a girl too,I just never realized that i would have to go to my own wedding,and sit through it all and go through the routine.But beta you will have to is the reply.

So yeah family is excited,the countdown is on,lists being made,people screaming at me,my sister in charge and taking care of things Lord knows if she wasnt nothing would be getting done,so thank you so much!

In a few weeks it will be the dress reharsal to the main event next year and i guess S is right i need to behave and act nice for 4 hours or so.But i still am hoping ke you will agree to elope(please?)