Monkey business

Sab pagal hain,aur mai sab se bara nahi hoon!

Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

Mixed feelings

Posted by Alta on July 28, 2010

Two days to my wedding,I am happy and yet sad,more in disbelief.The last week has been a rough one,i guess leading up to any wedding it is and i was expecting a lot of madness and things going wrong.Mom hasnt been herself,she did have fever but i think its also to do with all the people(guests) in the house and at some level i think she knows my brother is here.Because some of the things she is saying these days relating to him havent been said for some time now.I also take it as a positive,i feel she is talking a lot more for the last few days.

The rains in Karachi havent helped,things delayed,shops closed,plus my sherwani which i finally got and that too after it being faulty,so much for Deepak Perwani.Other then the delay its turned out good so paisa wasool.

I was on my way to pick someone up from the airport when i got the call,a friend and someone i do business with was on the flight that crashed today in Islamabad.I wasnt the best of friends with him,but i liked him.He was a a very good person asย  far as i knew him and was perfect when it came to doing business with. Read the rest of this entry »

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How to react?

Posted by Alta on July 17, 2010

With 12 days to the wedding,and every day that passes it seems there is no time left,though to be fair thanks to my sister there isnt much left to do either.(and i was rude to her today when it wasnt really her fault and my issues at work and be worked up,though i did apologise whiten 2 mins but i must control myself given all that she is doing and has done for me) But as the days go by,and with the girl here now (which was so strange to see her,and yet so nice!) thats really when it hit me that there isnt really any time left.

A friend asked me today there is only so many days to go arent you scared? The honest answer is i dont know,not scared but yes at times i am like oh fuck! I dont think it will ever get to being scared or anything close to it but i am sure the mood will be up and down over the next week or two and more times where iย  think of fuck! ๐Ÿ™‚

Also having to play nice and behave with everyone is a really hard thing to do,i cant wait for the wedding to be over,many reasons for that and one is that ill be allowed to be the old me again (and the people get a reason to blame the girl,she must have told him,he was never like this before!!)

Alta tamed (or getting there)

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what not to say

Posted by Alta on July 15, 2010

I need to learn that i cant say or need to filter what i say in front of people,because mostly i say things which can and have been taken out of context.Small things said which i dont even feel at the time that they can be twisted to make it look like something else.But knowing me it will keeping happening as i have no filter and i have never cared much for what people think of me.

Another thing that i should not say when asked the question but i am tempted to and will decide that very second given how i am feeling and the mood is,the answer being nahi to when the Maulvi asks me Qbool hai? Chances are slim but i am crazy ๐Ÿ™‚

15 days to go to the wedding,its all been happening quickly and the pace has picked up,I am also sure that the madness in the house will too over the next week and my get away plan from all this for a few days doesnt look like happening so i am stuck in the pagal khana with more inmates coming into the mental asylum in a week.

Lord help me!!

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Strange dreams and someone

Posted by Alta on June 8, 2010

For the last few weeks i have been having really strange dreams,not sure what to make of them, if anything.I never seem to remember them clearly,rarely do i remember what exactly happened in one.Todays too i dont remember what it was about,but woke and glimpses were in my head.

One person i saw in my dream last night,and she looked so good.I drive past her house almost every week and i wonder what she is doing these days,if she is happy,if she remembers me? I know she does,i hear at times that she had been asking about me and i always feel bad,because i too think of her at times,specially when i cross her house always tempted to stop and ring the bell but i cant.

I have never cared for many people in my life,even now the list is very small and i try not to show that side of myself to people,i have always been the rude,spoiled brat and i prefer people thinking of me like that.They dont expect much of me nor do they want to come close.

She was different she knew exactly what i was like,when others gave up on me she pushed me forward,always telling me to chase my dreams and that she knew i could do what i wanted.I always needed a push,i still do and i have plenty ofย  insecurities and she had a finger on each making sure that they didnt get the better of me,she knew me better then anyone at that time.

She was for many years someone very important in my life and i always have felt bad that i just left and never went back or kept in touch,i tend to do that,call it moving on or not caring and being cold i dont know.Its just what i am like,its very easy for me to be without someone i love or care about,not talking to them or making the effort to,yet loving them and caring all the same.Its the Murad blood in me ๐Ÿ™‚

I feel 10 years or more has been enough time and i should ring that bell next time i pass her house.

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One of those days!

Posted by Alta on June 4, 2010

Am feeling crappy and down,have been all day even though i went out and tried to have a good laugh with the boys but left early as i just couldnt but just cant shake it off.There isnt much going on bar a few things and i dont think that its them thats getting to me.I dont know if its the nerves or i am just being me,all moody and grumpy.Well a few hours more and then ill just just sleep it off i guess.

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Two months to go!

Posted by Alta on May 31, 2010

And all hell breaks lose? leading up to it over the next two months it just might! ๐Ÿ™‚

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