Being married!

Isnt bad at all,well so far anyway! 🙂 Its been only 3 months and i am happy to say not much has changed for me and the good news is I dont feel married.

 

Aisam Qureshi ko over du!!

Well done son!! The  lad is at it again,this time at the US open and is in the semis of both mixed and the doubles.Wish you all the luck to go all the way!!

http://www.dawn.com/wps/wcm/connect/dawn-content-library/dawn/news/sport/07-double-doubles-joy-for-aisam-qureshi-at-us-open-ha-03

Mixed feelings

Two days to my wedding,I am happy and yet sad,more in disbelief.The last week has been a rough one,i guess leading up to any wedding it is and i was expecting a lot of madness and things going wrong.Mom hasnt been herself,she did have fever but i think its also to do with all the people(guests) in the house and at some level i think she knows my brother is here.Because some of the things she is saying these days relating to him havent been said for some time now.I also take it as a positive,i feel she is talking a lot more for the last few days.

The rains in Karachi havent helped,things delayed,shops closed,plus my sherwani which i finally got and that too after it being faulty,so much for Deepak Perwani.Other then the delay its turned out good so paisa wasool.

I was on my way to pick someone up from the airport when i got the call,a friend and someone i do business with was on the flight that crashed today in Islamabad.I wasnt the best of friends with him,but i liked him.He was a a very good person as  far as i knew him and was perfect when it came to doing business with.

How to react?

With 12 days to the wedding,and every day that passes it seems there is no time left,though to be fair thanks to my sister there isnt much left to do either.(and i was rude to her today when it wasnt really her fault and my issues at work and be worked up,though i did apologise whiten 2 mins but i must control myself given all that she is doing and has done for me) But as the days go by,and with the girl here now (which was so strange to see her,and yet so nice!) thats really when it hit me that there isnt really any time left.

A friend asked me today there is only so many days to go arent you scared? The honest answer is i dont know,not scared but yes at times i am like oh fuck! I dont think it will ever get to being scared or anything close to it but i am sure the mood will be up and down over the next week or two and more times where i  think of fuck! 🙂

Also having to play nice and behave with everyone is a really hard thing to do,i cant wait for the wedding to be over,many reasons for that and one is that ill be allowed to be the old me again (and the people get a reason to blame the girl,she must have told him,he was never like this before!!)

Alta tamed (or getting there)

what not to say

I need to learn that i cant say or need to filter what i say in front of people,because mostly i say things which can and have been taken out of context.Small things said which i dont even feel at the time that they can be twisted to make it look like something else.But knowing me it will keeping happening as i have no filter and i have never cared much for what people think of me.

Another thing that i should not say when asked the question but i am tempted to and will decide that very second given how i am feeling and the mood is,the answer being nahi to when the Maulvi asks me Qbool hai? Chances are slim but i am crazy 🙂

15 days to go to the wedding,its all been happening quickly and the pace has picked up,I am also sure that the madness in the house will too over the next week and my get away plan from all this for a few days doesnt look like happening so i am stuck in the pagal khana with more inmates coming into the mental asylum in a week.

Lord help me!!

All laughed out?

I think so,i dont remember the last time i heard her laugh.Its close to a year,she just doesnt know how to now.A year ago she would laugh at times when she was calm,if you joked with her she would get it,or say something funny herself and laugh but thats gone now.I have been noticing for a while now but i thought maybe its just a phase,i feel otherwise now.You cant blame her though can you,what does she have to be happy about.

The son she loved most isnt with her today when she needs him most,to know he is there and he loves her,to know all her kids are with her,everything that they are today is because of everything she did for them,they are great full and in debt to her,that they love her and whatever they do they will never be able to repay for her love and for all that she is done for them.

Just one wish tonight though,just one prayer,if i could just hear my moms laughter one last time.